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We pull up and I start the process of getting booked in, I get my mugshot taken and they take a sample of my dna cause I'm getting charged with a felony. I am told my bond amount is $5000 and I know no one I know can help me out. I am told to go sit in the holding cell where I can make phone calls, I call my best friend who I ask after explaining the situation, if she can give me some money for the commisary so I can buy stuff I need. She obliges. I hear my name called and they bring me to a room where they tell me to strip, I take off my shirt and bra, then I take off my skirt and panties, they tell me to open my mouth and they shake out my hair. At this point I'm still tucked and gaffed. They tell me to squat to see if I have anything in my ass and all they see is a pink jewel from the plug I am wearing. They also see my weiner tucked away and make me remove both. They make me shower and give me a navy blue and white set of shirts and sweats as well as orange flip flops. I am taken. The commander before me had guards on the bench, so I just kept it going.”After contacting three previous commanders as well, and still getting the same answer, the new commander finally found a retired General (nearly 100 years old) and asked; “Sir, I am the new commander at the base you were in charge of 60 years ago. I found two men assigned to stand guard on a bench near the mess hall. Can you please tell me why?”After a pause, the General replied; “What? Is the paint still wet?”????????????????Thank tavern_knight for this one~“So when the first pig asked the man for straw to build his house with...”“What do you think the man was thinking?”One of the teacher’s students in the back of the room, called out, “Fuck me, a talking pig.”????????????????A well planned retirementThere is a lot written about this story. Apparently, it is a long-standing myth, but such a popular story that there is a tv show in the works.On Sun, May 9, 2021, 6:43 PM Heather Krull, wrote:Don’t know if it is.
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