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It might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done or it might be the easiest. ‘I’ve lain here thinking about it and what I will miss most will be the adrenalin rush that comes when we put it on the line. I like to think I’m more than a one-dimensional person. I would be very disappointed in myself if I couldn’t step up and make a new life. ‘What really hurts is that Cindy is not here to walk by my side in all this. I feel better about how she has handled things. I couldn’t give up the law enforcement work voluntarily — even if it would have saved my marriage. Now? Hell, I don’t know. It’s been lonely and I … well I’ve never stopped loving her. I just don’t know, Joe.’ Mary lingered to chat with me. ‘Jerry, if I’m out of line, let me know. I don’t know if you knew or not but I’ve been having lunch with Cindy fairly often since she — well, since she left you. I know how hurt you were but you do understand that she never stopped loving you, don’t you?’ I started to explode with my first. Over the next few months, we experimented with it a few times. Jack talked me into flashing truckers my tits a couple of times. At home, Jack bought a Polaroid camera and made me his star model. I didnt mind to much (if the truth be told, I usually enjoyed and I always enjoyed the lovemaking after a session) as long as he promised to keep the pictures private and we didnt do anything to near to home. I didnt want one of our little games coming home to haunt us. I would indulge him by wearing sexy clothes out but only if we were out of town. Jack really enjoyed other men looking at me on these trips. One day, he came home from a business trip and he was more intense then usually. He told me he had found a little adult book store just off the main interchange. He said they had peep show movies and books(he had a package with some swingers magazines and one with amateur pictures. He also told me they had a stripper booth. We read the magazines and Jack tried to talk me .
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