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Some might call it selling out and I suppose in a way it is. It's one of those things that could only exist in a capitalistic society. What I'm talking about is product placement advertising. Ford Motor Company was the first to contact me. They offered me six thousand dollars to have the main character in my next book drive a Ford automobile. Two fast food chains came next, actually bidding with me for the privilege of having my characters consume their food or conduct meetings in their establishments. I score eight thousand a book for that. I get ten thousand a book from Smith and Wesson for arming my characters with their firearms. They even give me a list of specific models as suggestions. My two biggest advertising contracts come from a large beer maker who pays sixteen thousand for having my creations drink their brand, and a tobacco company who pays me twenty-two thousand to have my protagonist characters smoke cigarettes. They particularly like it when I have the character in. She leaned down to give me another kiss and her breasts hung down enough to touch my chest and then they swung around a little as she teased her own nipples on my body.A few minutes later my daughter bounded into the house. She must have come in through the backdoor. I know that she parks her bicycle back there. In any event, she did not know that I was home, that I was out of sight on the couch, and that I was merely fifteen feet away.My wife said, “Welcome home sexy girl. What did you do with my three pounds of carrots? I was planning on using them to make a raison carrot salad. Go get them.”Ingrid said, “Can’t! I used them.”My wife laughed and said, “I know that! Now go get them. I’ll wash them off, peel them, and feed them back to you. Hey, you get to eat your sex toys. How wonderful is that?”Ingrid said, “I’m not eating those…I know where they have been.”My wife giggled and said, “You can slip a condom over them first.”Ingrid said, “Not the same feeling. That’s why I don’t use a.
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