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Well I was still very curious about everything sexual but never let it be known. I spent many years reading romance novels that describe love and sex in relationships as erotic and pleasurable. So after the failed relationships, I tried to just have sex a couple of times with a couple of other men, to find this pleasure and love described. Only to be disappointed after, feeling like it must just be me, destined to never know that feeling of weak legs from a kiss, or the pleasure that starts small and builds and builds inside of you until you explode with pleasure. So I avoided relationships for 1 year and a half spending my weekends hanging with the girls dressed in t-shirt and jeans while they always found the most provocative outfits they could find and took longer getting ready to go out than they actually spent out, or dressed for that matter. Watching this every weekend just made me appreciate my decision to be abstinent and avoid sexual relationships all the more. After the. Counting down the minutes to my date at my window.As the time approached the excitement would build and I had to physically stop myself from grabbing my cock and starting without her.I would be at my window ten minutes before she appeared,preparing myself.It was the best time of my life and in my head she was my girlfriend and we wre going to have some fun.One winter evening,there was a frost on the ground as I remember,the thing I had been secretly dredding happened.She didn't appear.I stood there shivering and perplexed,waiting for over an hour.My hard cock had long since softened and a wave of sadness rolled over me.Eventualy I left my window and trudged down the stairs back into my living room.A great feeling of loss had csme over me and i slumped into my chair and began to rub my forehead.The front door bell roused me from my daze.Who on earth would be visiting at this time of night?I went tyo the door and tried to peer through the frosted glass but could only see a blurry.
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