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"I continued to stare at the tv, enjoying the wrestling match that was playing. I was so completely zoned in that when my mom started talking to me from right beside me, I jumped."Oh, honey, I didn't mean to scare you, but dinner's ready. Please get dressed and come down," She said, smiling."Can I finish watching the match?" I asked her. Wearing only grey boxers, I wasn't even dressed for dinner and was all too comfortable sitting in front of the tv. I was going to persuade her how important it was for me to learn techniques from this match, but as soon as I looked up at her, I lost my voice. My mother was always one to keep in shape, and took great care of herself. But somehow until this point, I had never really paid attention to how good she actually looked.She was wearing a sports bra that could barely contain the roundest and biggest set of boobs I'd ever seen and black yoga pants that hugged an ass that could rival Kim Kardashian's. I was only just figuring out what getting hard. Try as I might, I can't get you out of my head, or my heart. I'm reminded of something your mom said, the day we buried you.... "I hope he lives a long and healthy life, and every time he closes his eyes, he sees you, to remind him of the hell that he's caused." Trust me sweetheart, I do.I'm not sure whom she meant that phrase toward, but, I do know deep down, I'm at least partially, if not wholy, responsible. Never once did I mean to hurt, or neglect you, apparently, I failed miserably. I pay for my failure on a daily, basis, and for hurting you, I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry that I let you down in so very many ways. Not supporting, and caring enough. There were reasons behind it, some of which you knew, others, I'm just learning myself. One of the biggest reasons was the fact that I truly did love you completely, but, couldn't show it to you in the right ways, our circumstances prevented me showing you my love. I know, it's no excuse, I should have found the way to do it properly,.
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