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This introjected super-ego may become harsh,cruel, and inexorable against the ego that is in its charge. So itbecomes a representative of the external world and a model for theendeavors of the ego. The result is that those suffering as moralmasochists are suffering under the domination of an especially sensitiveconscience and an unconscious untramorality that "provoke[s] punishmentfrom this last representative of the parents [i. e., a monstrously largeand harsh, indeed, titanic super-ego [and] must do what is expedient,must act against his own interest, must ruin the prospects which openout to him in the real world and must, perhaps, destroy his own realexistence" (62).In the same chapter, Noble also summarizes Theodore Reik's 1941 "studyof masochism," which attributes the masochist's pleasure in pain to amessianic complex. Basically, Noble says, Reik argues that "Reik'sChristian masochist is both the victim and the victimizer and thus seekspunishment from within. . . . There. During the next week I became used to having sensation in my breasts,and loved every minute of it. On Friday Valerie invited Kelly and I toher home for a barbecue on Saturday afternoon. She failed to mentionthat both of her sons would be there. I picked out a tan floral summerdress, and wore tan sandals with a thin, short sleeved jacket. Myhair, now trimmed, flowed around my face like a halo. I had a smallbrown leather purse to complete the outfit. I examined myself in themirror. My hair was longer now, cut and styled in a more business likeway, but still casual. My shoulders, accented by the short sleeves ofthe jacket, were trimmed with brown piping. The top of the dress didnot have a deep neckline, but it was low enough to allow a hint of mycleavage, and that was accented by delicate gold locket suspended frommy neck. I wore a minimum of makeup, just a hint of eyeshadow, a softred lipstick and my best perfume.As soon as I arrived at Valerie's her youngest son, Mike greeted me.
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