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" I had been (I am still) unable to imagine trusting anyone but Bob around when I lost control; so saying "not Bob" was saying "never."Then there was marriage. I'd always meant to marry Bob someday. Even at my angriest, I'd never quite told myself that I wouldn't marry him. Bob had been wrong, marriage isn't about sex; it is about trust, and forever, and sharing everything. But sharing everything obviously included sharing this thing which was of paramount importance to Bob. And if I said never to this, Bob's "forever" would include a "never"; he hadn't said that he wouldn't make that sacrifice, but he hadn't said that he would. And, finally, my reluctance wasn't about sex; it was about trust.There were other considerations. Bob had given me comfort when there was no other comfort; I would give him whatever he wanted. He had gone back to his harem with staples in their bellies, but I couldn't expect him to be satisfied with those magazines forever. I had wanted a future with Bob; it. Her mouth remained shut, but curled slightly at the corners.There were so many surprises. Margaret steered me, still slightly stunned, to the Landrover. We didn't take the road as I expected, but the gated track behind the house down which we sometimes walked for a breath of fresh air after hours in the overheated library. It was muddy, deeply rutted from regular use, and when the headlights stopped dancing over the tree-trunks and last season's old man's beard, they came to rest on another five bar gate that led in turn onto a potholed gravel drive, narrowed almost to a tunnel in places by vast overgrown yew hedges.Margaret drove the Landrover steadily forwards, until around a bend a house appeared. Not just any house, but a full-blown Gothic monstrosity of a Victorian mansion that stretched beyond the beams of the headlights for what looked like miles on either side of the massive entrance. Even under this limited illumination I could see many signs of dilapidation and.
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