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"Um... Yeah..." "I'll bring you home, 'kay? You still know where you lived, huh?" "Yeah... yes, I do... Thank you..." He lead me surprisingly gently to his truck. He got in the driver's side, wiped a few cigarette butts from my seat, and we settled in. He didn't start the truck. "Um... I'll tell you where to go..." I murmured. "What, you think this ride's free?" I froze. "I... I don't have money..." A lie, of course, but I needed this money. "I'm not talking about cash, baby." He smirked. "I remember when my wife looked like you." My eyes widened. "I... I'm not... No... I'm not, um... a hooker..." I looked away, reaching for the door. He grabbed my arm. "Please... I'll drive you anywhere! I need this..." I didn't know what to do. Sure, I've fantasized, but it was never like this. I didn't want to lose my virginity in a filthy truck to a filthy truck driver! There was also the little dilemma about my lack of a vagina. I thought for a second. "What do you want?" I asked. It wouldn’t be pretty. God knows, dogs will eat anything. I had a friend who used to throw the sort of parties where people would stagger outside and throw up. His dog used to lurk outside door, waiting for that nice warm snack. Mmmm. Let’s just say I’m not a ‘dog person.’ Taking pity on the duck assassin’s owner, I said something glib like ‘Don’t worry ma’am,’ and began slogging out to where I could reach the log. No way was I going to take my shoes off, with nothing but broken glass and decaying goose-shit to walk on. The muck nearly sucked my shoes off anyway, and it took a few minutes of careful effort before I reached the log. I tested it to make sure that it wasn’t floating, and then stepped gingerly aboard. After some careful mincing along the slimy wood I finally got close to where the dog sat cowering. I offered my hand and he snarled at it. ‘Hey little fella,’ I heard myself say in a ridiculous soft voice, ‘Come on. . .don’t be scared. . .come on. . .’ This seemed to calm.
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