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"Well there's me and Verdé," Rosa said."I'll show you my gardens later," Verdé said with a girlish giggle. Her tail flicked up between his legs and tickled his balls."Nurse Honey..." Rosa continued."Who you've met," Verdé added."Nÿte..." Who you don't want to meet." And Cerulea." Oh, yes. Cerulea." Who's completely crazy." Be fair," Verdé admonished. "She's a lovely girl, if a little eccentric." Crazy," Rosa stated."You probably don't want to meet her either," Verdé said. "But enough chatter, it's time to get you cleaned up." She put her hands on his shoulders and steered him through a door.The room beyond took Phil's breath away. This was the bathroom... ?It was enormous, a cavern tiled in rich black marble. At the centre was a large circular pool around twenty feet in diameter. In contrast to the rest of the room its tiles were electric blue in colour and glowed in the darkness. The sound of rippling water bounced off the walls in a gentle susurration. Blue light from the pool ebbed. “It somehow slipped through the net. From somebody calling themselves Chase I. Tyturp.”“I’m very sorry, Mr Roberts,” Ms. McLeod says. “I’m afraid I was a little distracted yesterday.”“Nothing serious, I hope.”“No, no.” She sounds a little distracted now, but I decide not to say anything. “There was a crisis in the congregation. The Pastor’s daughter acquired a tattoo.”Don’t worry, all the kids have tattoos these days, I want to tell her, but apparently in the circles in which Charlotte moves, this is a major crisis, possibly requiring a combination of trauma counselling and exorcism. “I see,” I say. “Well, these things happen.”“Chase I. Tyturp, you said,” Ms. McLeod says. “I’ll screen them out if there are any more.”“No,” I say, wishing I hadn’t used the word ‘crank’. “You can let them through. You needn’t bother reading them.” It strikes me now that I’m actually very glad she hasn’t read the first one.“Whatever you say, Mr Roberts.” She doesn’t sound too surprised or curious, but.
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