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I’ve decided to take it off your hands,” he replies, covering up the fact that I’ve probably sold him a painting he really doesn’t want for just over two and a half thousand pounds.“Oh she’ll be sad to see it go. It’s her favourite in the gallery just now,” I curse her for saying that. You’d think I never told her about what happened. I hurry back with the papers, my hands still shaking.“Here are the papers, Mr Watkins. If you could just sign here and here,” I say, handing him the clipboard and pointing to the spaces for the signatures, accidentally brushing my arm against his. He signs the paper and then hands it back to me. I keep my eyes on the clipboard at all times. I tear off the counterfoil and hand it to him. “How will you be paying today, Mr Watkins?” I ask, looking up briefly only to be caught in his eyes, still burning darkly.“Cheque if that is ok?” he says as I tear my eyes away from him and look to Anya.“Would you mind packaging Mr Watkins’s painting for him?”“Of. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then pee.5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.Thought you’d like to know.These are compliments of cbarge... FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA ... FLOOR.2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?.
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