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He walks into the bedroom and says “This is the pig I’ve been f@#king!”His wife says “You idiot! That’s not a pig, that’s a sheep!”The farmer says “Will you shut the f@#k up! I was talking to the sheep!”Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.One lady turns and asks, “Do you still get horny?”The other replies, “Oh sure I do.”The first old lady asks, “What do you do about it?”The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.”After a few moments, the first old lady asks,“Who drives you to the beach?”A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said ‘Have you ever had a hug?’ The man said ‘No, ‘ so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, ‘Have you ever had a kiss?’ The man said, ‘No, ‘ so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The Australian woman came to him and said, ‘Have you ever been f*cked?’ The. Mind heading into the woods and grabbing an armful of kindling for me? Sure, no problem Henry, he agreed. It always bothered me how nice and helpful Greg was at these family gatherings. Back home he was kind of an asshole. I was glad he was leaving for college next year. Not that we didnt have good times together occasionally, but they were few and far between. After a few minutes, my younger cousin Maddie approached me. Hey Zachy? Do you know where Sunny is? she asked. Maddie was fourteen, and despite their four year age span, Sunny had spent a lot of time chatting with her at the beach, and Maddie had gotten a little clingy. Did you check the camp bathrooms? I asked. Oh, she said, and she walked off. Then Uncle Henry spoke to me. Zach, go find youre nutty brother will ya? Its been fifteen minutes. Alright, I sighed. Want me to come? asked Paul. Nah thats alright. Ill be right back, I told him. I stood from my seat and headed towards the tree line. I looked through the woods for.
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