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Fer the sake of keepin' peace in the neighborhood, we let all our neighbors assum that Rastus an' Martha wuz still slaves, though Inez, Jane, an' I treated them as free as us.'Bout the time we had the barn converted an' Rastus an' Martha had moved in there, Rastus cornered me at the pig pens and said, "I gots a real problem. I ain't gonna do nothin' what goes against yer wishes, since y'all has been so good ta me and Martha, but my conscience is killin' me. There's a runaway nigger hidin' in the barn, an' he's asked fer my he'p. I'll chase him offen the property ifen ya says so, but he do need he'p real bad." Shit, Rastus, I'll he'p anybody in trouble ifen I can. It don't make no difference ifen he's White, Red, or Black. What's the problem?" This here nigger ran away from his master cuz he wuz about ta cut the nigger's hand off. He accused the nigger of bein' a thief an' wuz gonna punish him by cuttin' off the nigger's left hand with a hand saw and cauterizin' it. The nigger run off. .. The dispatcher said,‘Stay calm ... An officer is on the way.’ A few minutes later, the officer radios in ‘Disregard.’ He says.‘He got in the back-seat by mistake.’TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,‘Was I getting in or out of the bath?’ The94-year-old yells back, ‘I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.’ She starts up the stairs and pauses‘Was I going up the stairs or down? The92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, ‘I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood... ‘She then yells, ‘I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.’TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!!!‘I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!’Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ ‘No, ‘ the.
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