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.. Here’s some moreThese fried insect legs really ARE the bees’ knees.The baby looks just like his father. I wish he looked like my husband, instead.The baby isn’t out yet. You’ll have to wait 16 years before he tells you he’s gay... Yes, ma’am, this IS the maternity hospital, but no. We don’t have any return policy.How can you tell if your gas station attendant used to be a porn star?When the gas starts coming out, he pulls out the nozzle, and sprays it on the windshield... You think of pirates as being all smiley. Actually, they’re all Somali... I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got run over.Inside a Russian woman, there’s another Russian woman.I was in the park the other day, watching a man feed the birds. After a while, I said to myself, “I wonder how long he’s been dead”.I have a friend who keeps ingesting helium. You should try it ... people speak very highly... Dear Hallmark:Roses are red, Violets are blue.Your cards are shit And your channel is, too.And the award for. "She hesitated and I saw her struggling with her emotions."I'm still a virgin, Johnny." YOU'RE A WHAT?"She repeated what she'd said and then the tears came. I stood there like a bloody statue, looking and feeling very stupid until, with an obvious effort, she managed to control her emotions."He told me to give you this, Johnny. I know the gist of what he's written, but please don't blame me, Darling." She handed me a letter in a sealed envelope with my name on it. "I'll cook some breakfast while you read it." Dear Johnny." it began, "I know exactly how close you and Maureen are and I don't blame either of you. You're both special people. I'm assuming, by now, that she's told you about the lack of sex in our marriage. Please believe me, my friend, when I say that there's nothing I would like more than to consummate our marriage. It can't happen though, Mate. Please don't blame her for telling me about your youthful explorations. I think you'll find it more common than you might think. .
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