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“Gods, Cunt, one would think you’ve never been raped in a public place before.” He hissed low.At the top of the stairs I managed to collect myself. A hallway stretched past three doors. I skipped out of Terry’s reach and spun around. “Give me the damn shit or I’ll scream!”Terry sneered and stepped into the hall, away from me. “Scream and you won’t get shit.” He pointed down the stairs. “Get the fuck out, or get in that toilet room.” He pointed at the door beside me.Then I said the stupidest thing of all. “You said it would be for free.”He lurched forward and grabbed me again. “Open the fucking door.”Nearly pressed against it, I turned the handle. The door swung inward. He pushed us through. “Take down your damn pants.”Tears made their way down my face as I unclasp my pants and pushed them down. “At least close the door.”“Fuck no. If the old fart decides to watch, maybe he’ll give me a discount for using this toilet.” He let go of my coat and tugged my panties over my ass.I looked. You think and you’ve said it once in rage, that I’m out looking for sex, but you’re wrong it’s worse than that. I’m looking for love. Tonight I am home and though I’m here in body, my mind is elsewhere. We watch a film and it distracts us from the misery we both know exists. The film we’re watching is sentimental towards the end and it just extenuates how unsentimental I feel towards you. You’re my friend, I trust you with my life but I don’t like how I hurt you with my inability to love you the way you love me. I’m angry with myself, but I hide it well by being angry with you. The film is finished and already the mood is changing to one that makes me look at my coat, you notice and it makes you angry with me, you know me too well and you think I’ve created an argument so that I can storm out and be away from you, maybe I did but it wasn’t a deliberate act. You’re shouting at me now and I never have been very good at taking it well. It scares me and the fear makes me shout back.
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