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After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”The boss replied, “You have a wee cough?”I said, “Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!”A fly is minding his own business when a gnat lands on its back. Bemused, the fly says, “Is there a gnat on my back?”The gnat says, “Gnat at all.”“That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard,” says the fly.“What do you expect,” says the gnat. “I just made it up on the fly!”Little Johnny was out in the park with his father when he spots a butterfly on the ground and with a leap Johnny crushes the graceful. It's getting late and the gym would close in about an hour call it a night.I returned to the locker room, and got undressed, and washed off all of the sweat in the showers. Then as usual I went into the steam room, with only a small towel to cover my crotch. I had never had any gay experiences, but that was about to change, because into the steam room walked the big guy who had kept eyeing me during my workout.He has no towel he just walks in. I glanced up at him and sure enough he was as big as I thought he would be. And he actually sits right under me. I try to move and he turns around. He tells me that he saw the workout I was doing and asks if I was training for something or just working out for fun.I tell him that it is one of my hobbies, which it helps me relax. He tells me he does the same thing. He must do more than that because this guy is a regular ADONIS. I start to stand up to leave, and he stands up first, and "accidentally" knocks me back down to sitting. I say sorry.
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