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As I ordered the beer I saw a sexy chick, sitting opposite me. The beer hit my head after a hard work day and I got more relaxed and free-minded, so I just took my beer mug and approached her table. Without asking for a permission to take a seat, I plunged into a chair and smiled.“Hi, I’m Bob and I hate drinking beer by myself”, I said and gave her even a broader smile.“I am Jessica and I hate it when guys try to hit on me”, She answered and smiled ironically.This chick was a hard nut to crack and I understood it. She probably brushed guys off pretty easily so I lost my confidence for a second, but then remembered a wise saying, I don’t remember who said it but it sounded like that: “A woman is like a fortress and a professional general will always find a way to conquer it”. I remembered that saying and smiled.“I am not trying to hit on ya, I’m just looking for some company and if you don’t want me, I can get up and leave”, I said that and noticed two mugs on her table. Shit! She was. They all piled in at once and she split right down the middle.” The old lady fainted.✧ ✧ ✧When you are smiling you can thank squaddie117 for them!!Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!Q: How does a woman scare a gynaecologist?A: By becoming a ventriloquist!Q: What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?A: A $100 bill!Q: Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?A: They couldn’t close his casket.Q: Who was the world’s first carpenter?A: Eve, because she made Adam’s banana standQ: What do you call a cheap circumcision?A: A rip offQ: Why did the snowman smile?A: Because the snow blower is coming.Q: What does it mean when your cheap boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.Q: What’s the difference between you and eggs?A: Eggs get laid and you don’tQ: Why are cowgirls bowlegged?A: Cowboys like to eat with their hats.
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