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. My mate of thirty years or so. He was twenty-two and still finding his way. I was leaning forward. My mate and I had discussed her demise. I remember gently asking how long I should wait... "Well, I might like to start dating?!" Jesus, Bob! Get your shit together, man. I'll be dead. What the fuck do I care!" We never discussed it again. I quit work shortly after she passed on and bought the condo a month later with her life insurance money. The house was a quick sale and now I was standing at one end of my kitchen listening to a group of people talking about me at the other end."Yea! I'll call all the escort services in town!" My son and friend burst into laughter. The people around them joined in. I put my beer down on the kitchen counter and wandered back into the den. It was full of my son's friends; watching two kids playing a video game on the TV. The stereo was blasting something I didn't waste time trying to comprehend.I avoided the front room as that's where all my friend's. In between each cough I cursed and spit and jumped around trying to not get too pissed off at her. After about 5 minutes of coughing and cursing I was able to speak. "So, you squirt, huh?" "Yeah, I guess I do." "Did you already know this?" "Yeah. I was not sure how to tell you." "Really? So you thought spraying me in the face without ANY warning was the best way?" "I am really sorry. I didn-It was about then that a police officer pulled up behind us. We would have seen him coming but we were too deep in our "spirited conversation". PO: "You guys know the park is closed, right?"ME: "Yes, Officer. We were just leaving."PO: "Okay. You guys have any d**gs on you or anything?" *the cop steps out of the car*ME: "No. I have nothing on me."PO: "Okay. You sure? Your eyes look REALLY red to me. You haven't been smoking weed out here have you?"ME: "No. My eyes are all red because I was coughing up a storm before you got here." *I realized that that was a bad response*PO: "Okay. You guys weren't.
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