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But I digress, lets talk about something exciting, like my ideal funeral. I would want everyone to wear re d Hawian shirts, Red for my favorite color. Hawaiian shirts because the love of my life would be so pissed off if my final requests was to make him wear a monkey suit. I can hear him bitching like an hour before my funeral about the missing button on the only white dress shirt he owned. Yes James was mighty proud of the fact that he only owned one. Now that I think of it, maybe I will make all the guys wear suits, as my final poke.I wonder who would speak at my funeral? I assume there would be a few family members, like my twin sister Lisa. She would of course say how much she loves me. That is an unquestionable fact. She would try to inferred that we were close. Sadly we aren't. We don't hang out on Saturday nights. We don't spend hours shopping and gossiping on the phone. I didn't even think about telling her when I lost my virginity at the ancient age of 22. For being twins. I know that I stink. James left a lot of sweat and sperm all over me and in me. I dress in my best jeans and my only clean shirt. I don't bother trying to do anything to my hair because I have no one to impress. I'm barely awake and my day is already shitty.The one thing that strikes me as strange is my image in the mirror. I don't look like myself any more at all. I know that emotional pain and stress can make a person look older but this is ridiculous. I guess the alcohol and the rough nights have also taken their toll on me. I really need to start eating better and taking better care of myself. I look at least ten years older and I've only been divorced for four years. I look nothing like I did in that picture of our family that's sitting on my mantle. I look more like my mom did when she was sixty.Now I have to go to the police station and try to file a report. I also have to go to the bank to try to find out whether or not James was able to get into my account and steal my.
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