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In the end, he too was rebuffed. They left after a round of consolation, probably for the stripper bars, where they were more assured of not getting laid and more comfortable with the prospect. Some time around midnight, I became uncomfortably aware that she might have set her sights on me. I'm still not sure what the trigger was. We flirted viciously as always, but at some subtle point there had been a change and there was a tint of seriousness to our already colorful language. I found myself backtracking, not wanting to press the issue and at the same time wondering why. After all, her rejection wouldn't mean much to me, not after some of the things we'd said. And her wanting me was probably just her settling for something from mediocre pickings. Still, she was physically appealing and certainly available. Frankly, though I didn't mind not being her first, I still hoped to be someone's last. I really didn't see much chance of that happening with Nora. She seemed somehow driven to. They do it to keep from hurting your feelings. The jerks just don't bother. The snakes are the ones who say nice things while plotting to do mean things. I hate them worse than the jerks.But, okay, that's life in the real world. I once tried just chucking it all and going to live in the woods, thinking I'd find some peace there. That lasted about an hour. The creatures who live in the woods fell into only two categories: Those to whom I smelled, sounded, or looked like something that wanted to eat them, and those to whom I smelled like something to eat. In case you're wondering, that's not real conducive to feelings of peace, tranquility and oneness with nature.So, I put up with people. I mean, I'm resigned to being a freak. Over time, I think I have begun to convince some people that I mean no harm to people who don't fuck with me. I mean that in the metaphorical sense, by the way. Those who actually dare to fuck with me, in a sexual way, soon find that there are benefits that.
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