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I have not always succeeded but I do my best. In the early stages of my bi life I went through what I believed was the normal process for a guy who considered himself straight to actually finding out my bi tendencies were far stronger than I originally thought. Not going to lie it was difficult and lots of times I was riddled with guilt after my MM encounters. Walking away from giving a blow job I would be thinking how it wasn't right and my religious upbringing made the guilt hurt that much more. Things changed when I found myself the owner of a paint store franchise for a national brand. During the course of any day I would make contact with a gentleman in head office that guided me through the endless situations and the miles of paperwork required in being the owner of the store. His name was Scott and it was always fun talking with him. As we spoke we began to be more comfortable with each other. I k**ded with him once that his girl friend would be jealous and. “They kept getting in my face. I realized this was like a miniature boot camp experience. They’d broken me down and were starting to rebuild me. They told me how I was supposed to behave in the office, how I was supposed to think about each of the women I met, what I was supposed to dream about at night, and even what kind of porn I could watch when I jerked off. They went through every part of my life in detail – the actions, my responses, my emotions, my thoughts, my habits, my compulsions, and my desires.“I was a basket case. They loaded me back in the car and we drove to McDonalds, got lunch, and went back to the office to really eat. I could barely eat. Nikky sat with me the rest of the afternoon doing her work as I tried to do mine. I’d look at her and she’d smile warmly at me.“After work she drove me to a clinic and told me I had to get tested for STDs. She told me ‘they’ wanted to start with me having a clean bill of health. I gave the blood and got the exam. I was clean, but.
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