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”I swore, “Tувойу мат, I am not ready for this.”Louise however opened the door and invited the reporters into our living room.Flashback – Jack and Banzai – At the hospitalBanzai’s mission was a huge success, but he was concerned that he only reached two houses (and so was I). I suggested, “Banzai, since the fucking towelheads don’t have any NV gear, we rule the night. So why don’t we form a squad and you lead them on night missions. That way you could cover more houses.”Banzai frowned and explained, “Jack that’s a possibility but if we go in with guns blazing some of the children will get killed, either by us or by the fucking Taliban.”I asked, “Didn’t you do that on the second house?”Banzai reluctantly agreed, “Yeah, I wanted to take them out one at a time with my Ka-Bar but there were too many of them so I was forced to shoot them.”I replied, “Banzai, what do you expect, this isn’t a Recon team.”Banzai smiled, snapped his fingers and stated, “Jack, that’s exactly what we need here,. I have to admit that I wasn’t ready for the onslaught of kids that appeared on the first day. We had a little Christmas village set up, and I had my own booth where the kids could come and sit next to me. It wasn’t possible for the kids to sit on Santa’s lap anymore. Just too many perverts out there. We gave every kid a candy cane, and he or she could have their picture taken with me if they wanted. We charged three dollars for the picture, which I thought was reasonable. Thank God, I had two elves to help me. They controlled the line of kids that seemed never ending. I have to say something about the kids. Some were as sweet as could be, and hardly asked for anything for Christmas. Then, there were the other kids that were nothing but brats. If I was a real Santa, they would have only gotten that lump of coal my parents said I would get if I was bad when I was younger. The list of gifts sure changed. Almost everyone asked for electronic items. I believe most kids wanted their own.
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