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Ever since that first time on the beach at Manly, we'd both enjoyed outdoor sex. Not exhibitionism, per se; just ... risky. It would be just like him to sneak into the back of the booth and tease me to a public orgasm. I was getting short of breath just thinking about it.My phone had gone back to its home screen; Kevin had hung up. A shadow moved in the corner of my vision outside the classroom door. I looked up, but it was only a cloud passing across the sun.My student-free morning was finally over. Josh's thousand word essay only kept me entertained for ten minutes of the almost three hours I sat alone in the classroom. Sadly he used up most of his insight in his selection of the subject. There wasn't really much meat in the essay; he wasted too many words on a misguided attempt to explain Fermat's Little Theorem and not enough on the commercial and social ramifications of secure, public cryptography. It didn't make me any less proud of him though; even if he can't write, at least. Pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!The Splash Back DumpThis one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now your wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.The c***dbirth DumpThis one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.The Machine Gun DumpBest utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in.
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