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“Alright, here’s three elastic bands, just before you get into bed on the wedding night go to the toilet and stick these up, when they go ‘twang’ you tell him it’s just your virginity going”And again all went well.Then the third daughter came to her mother and said “Mom, you know...”The mother interrupted “I know, you’re getting married to Bill, he thinks you’re a virgin and you’re not”.“Bbbut how do you know that.” Stammered the daughter.“I just know,” said the mother, “how many men have you slept with?“Oh!god, I lost count”, said the daughter.“Here stick the whole box of elastic bands up and when they go ‘twang’ and he asks what that was, you just say it’s your virginity going”.So on the wedding night she goes into the bathroom and stuffs the lot up then climbs into bed.Soon things get to the critical point when ‘TWANG’.“What the hell was that?” Shouted the new husband.“Don’t worry, darling, that was just my virginity going.”“Well for Christ sake go and catch it” he screamed, “it’s. "We need a breaker's yard. This feels terminal." You can't sell my car!"I laughed. "I don't plan to. They'll have a steering rod. I think that's what's working loose. We won't be able to afford a garage or a new unit, but a breakers might have one."We only just made it. Turning off the interstate and onto county roads made the banging worse, and turning left and right became problematic, so much so that eventually I could only turn right. Mom shouted and pointed off to the side where a sign said Pete's Car Breakers, a pile of old vehicles stacked ten high behind a wire fence. It lay on the left hand side of the road, of course. I drove past, turned right at the next junction, then right and right again until we managed to pull up in front of a wooden office. The mandatory mad dog barked wildly as I climbed out and a whip-thin man in overalls and an incongruous Ferrari peaked cap came out. Long greasy hair was caught back in a ponytail."Hush now, Bart," he said to the dog, the barking.
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