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My strawberry blond hair of younger days is now auburn. My gray eyes haven’t changed though and I still wear glasses (the reason for the nickname of so many years ago) The three of us, Mom, Jason and I, wind up going to lunch and laughing about the whole thing. We find out that he and I are attending the same college. After discussing class schedules, it turns out that we are always on campus at the same days and times. When he hears I have to ride the bus, he insists on picking me up and driving me to school. Its like a time warp…almost like we are back in Junior High, sitting at the same lunch table. He knows I'm married and reasonably happy with my husband. Then at a school basketball game he grabs me and hugs me when the team won…just a hug…but it startled both of us. It’s just small things like that for a while, he starts holding my hand when we are sitting or walking together, he runs his hand over my hair, kisses me on the forehead. Things really got started at a simple pool. A few weeks went by and I finally lost my virginity! Now don’t get ahead of the story, it was with a girl and wouldn’t you know it… on a night when I was expecting to have the room to myself, who should come through that door, Josh and Alex! That brought Josh and I to another awkward conversation. During which I finally gathered up the courage and told Josh I thought I might be gay. I told him I was having confusing and conflicting urges towards men and women and didn’t know what it meant. He told me about his own struggle to find himself and how hard it was to come out. He gave me a lot of good advice that day.Weeks went by where nothing changed for me. I just couldn’t get the thoughts out of my mind. “What would it feel like? Would I like it? Does it hurt? What if I am gay?” All those questions ran through my head daily. I was tired of wondering and I wanted to find out.One night while Josh and I were both in the room working on school work, I broke the ice and stated chatting with.
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