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Many people believe beginnings start with other things, love, chaos, etc. the universal truth of beginnings is pain. This is not a negative or positive thing, pain is a catalyst, and it motivates every living thing into action and with action comes beginnings. The pain of unspoken love moves us to speak with the object of our desires. The pain of virginity abandoned for the hope of love opens the way for conception, the aches and pains of carrying a child motivate a mother to prepare for the birth, the pain of contractions initiates the push of birth and the slap on the ass forces our first breath. At 3:15am on October 27th 1968 the slap came for me, the first breath and first lament of Michael Dane. I obviously have no recollection of this but that first breath, I can only imagine, was very sweet, and painful at the same time. Lungs accustomed to warm fluid now assaulted by the purified and sterilized air of the mercy hospital delivery room, yes, it must have been very sweet, and. I don’t suppose it’s too late for Mr. Warner to put an end to that.“I’m kidding. I snapped at Mr. Warner the first day of class because I was nervous. I know chemistry but, like many of you, I don’t interact well with the world at large. If my unthinking comment had been directed at some of you, it likely would have led you to drop the lab and maybe the subject. Mr. Warner looked at me like I was an ogre but went about his business. I have used Mr. Warner as a scapegoat this semester – without his knowledge or consent. You will be thankful – as I was – that he is not majoring in chemistry and the world is safer because of it.“I used his shortcomings – which were all imagined and not real – to impress upon the rest of the class a few pitfalls that have befallen previous students. Some of them were dangerous mistakes and others were the silly little things that sometimes slip through when dealing with complicated formulas. By spending time droning on about all the mistakes I pretended.
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