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She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I haven't had the experience of other men before Howard and I met. I know the difference. I know how much better Howard is than other men. What is driving me to the edge of this cliff?Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I do need psychiatric help. Maybe it does have to do with menopause. Too many questions. Too much confusion. I won't solve these questions lying in bed. It was time to get up and shower. Eat something. Think about what I want to say tonight. Be prepared. Don't let Howard get the upper hand again.I made it through the day. I lay down after lunch and slept for almost two hours. I felt better for it. But I could feel my nervousness just below the surface. I wasn't calm at all. It was. “Right this way,” Nicole said as she led us into the large reception area. The girls tagged along behind me diligently as Nicole assisted in getting us registered. The girls’ heads seemed to be swiveling every which way and their eyes were big as saucers as they took in everything they could see. They were constantly pointing out one thing after another to each other as they spotted items of interest. The bellhops were told which rooms we were in and took a separate staff elevator up to the top level. When we had been issued our room keys, Nicole ushered us into the main customer lifts. We were in England after all, “lifts” being the proper word for our method of vertical transportation. We arrived at the fourth floor; this being the top level to fit in with the surrounding architecture of the vicinity. The hotel covered almost a whole city block and was massive in size, even though by American standards, the height of only four levels would seem quite different.“Here are your.
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