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Heyward?" inquired an urbane voice when I picked up. Very little accent, I was surprised to note."I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number, my name isn't Heyward," I said. I knew I was only stalling, but let him think I was a bit dim."Ah?" said the voice. "Your wife says otherwise. Then again, the manner in which I framed the question to her might encourage her to say thus."Jesus Christ. What had he done?He was still talking:"If you are not Jack Heyward it is ... unfortunate. However, the misfortune will not be mine alone. I have great interest in the welfare of the wife and child of Jack Heyward. I have none in that of the wife and child of Jackson Carstairs, and fear they may meet with ... misadventure. Does this alter your response?"The voice was dead cold; I couldn't keep on being coy."All right," I said, "let's say I am Jack Heyward—" Yes, let us say that," came that frigid voice. "You see how easily two men of intelligence may resolve such minor questions when they reason. I looked up him. "Well, not a mess - but a distraction." That's why I'm up and dressed. I did look in the bathroom, in case there was a stock of condoms for the guests, but - there's everything else." Are you serious? If you'd found a condom, would you have made love to me?" I don't know?" We were both laughing. "Probably! You were quite urgent. Were you really asleep?"Well! Things are looking up."Yes. I don't remember a thing. What a shame! But..." No! I know the chemists are open now. But no. Look, we need to talk. Go and have a pee and whatever, then come back to bed for a while."I sat on the loo. Well, my digestion seemed to be back in working order. Perhaps that would cure my spots."Tea or coffee?" Robert called. What luxury, having our own bathroom."Coffee - is there anything to eat?" Dabble in the bidet. What a funny feeling. Robert was carrying two cups and some biscuits back to the bed. I slipped in and he sat on the edge, passing me shortbread."Polly does her guests well..
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