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He kept adjusting her neckline and pulling at her girdle and her bra straps. Her pretty hat was lopsided and unpinned, and her hair needed brushing! The skipper had already managed to wipe off most of her lipstick! She would have to teach him how to behave like a lady at the first opportunity! Like most of the other castaways, he too was crying as they all realized there would be no return to normal lives after all. They all stared at Boris Balinkoff, the mad scientist whose experiments had stranded them all inside the wrong bodies. He had fainted when he saw the destruction of his life's work, but was coming around. They observed him with horror as the madman meowed like a cat and ignored the destroyed machine. Seeing seven stranded souls with anger and hatred in their faces, he only said, "I'm Fluffy, a harmless cat!" After several more meows, the apparently deranged madman began licking his hand.Today, decided the Skipper, staring down at his new body, the weak female body of Mrs.. Let’s face it, we are ALL fucked up in some way. I glared at my brother, who settled into his familiar megalomania, feeling he’d won a battle of maturity. I can only explain his gratification by assuming he is jealous. Yes, that’s it. Jealous, because at 40, he has been divorced twice, both times taken for all he had, and has virtually no artistic talents with the exception of holiday lawn ornaments which he cuts out of wood. Even then he uses a pattern. Good old-fashioned jealousy once again strikes the hearts of my family members as they realize I am more unique than they are. I am my grandmother’s favored grandchild because I live up to my name as the black sheep with great attention to detail. Tonight, at a restaurant where the waiters wear fifty buttons and karaoke singers whine in the background, I am not dressed in gray turtlenecks as the other members of the group are. Nor do I echo their fondness for leather shoes or gold jewelry. This evening I am wearing a lace up black.
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