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‘I couldn’t not come,’ he spoke in a deeply touching manner, ‘I know about the thing.’ ‘And you don’t exist,’ I looked at him seriously. I knew this was a dangerous game to play, talking to a man who didn’t exist, a figment of my imagination, a mere hope for something permanent. ‘I’m here to talk about the thing,’ he insisted, ‘you need me.’ ‘I need you to exist,’ I turned from him and ran tensed fingers through my newly dyed hair. This was the best I had, the only man I could trust was one that my brain had decided to make up for me, no one else. This was my secret. ‘You’re scared, I know,’ he placed his hands on my shoulders and drew me towards him. I could not escape the touch of my own sweet imagination. It knew me so well, what can I say. ‘You’re teasing me by being here,’ I muttered, ‘if you really cared about me, then you wouldn’t be here,’ he squeezed my shoulder tightly. ‘I want you to know that everything will be okay.’ ‘Everything- will- be- okay?’ I stabbed the. In addition, I bet that right now, you feel the pain is more than you can bear. Just think for a moment, if you did not open up your heart to love again, the pain from the past could not have been let go." You know, I never thought of it that way. Thanks for listening. I think I will try to go to bed again, good-morning." Ditto, love yahs. Take care."She was about to log off, when she decided to write Douglas an email. Maybe, if she put her thoughts down in writing, he would think again, and not push her away."My Blue-eyed devil,How can I tell you what is on my heart, without hurting and crying? A part of me wants to get to know you and fall deeper in love with the other side of you (the one I do not see in bed). I want to scream, "Why not?Then I rationalize things and tell myself, I understand. Until the next day, then I miss you once more and start crying again. Damn-it, I wanted you to be my love, the only man in my life, forever.However, deep down I know that we will never have.
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