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Why? Why did I feel this way for her? I felt betrayed. I felt foolish. I felt hurt. Beyond all of that, I felt ... something ... for this girl?Why? Why did my heart beat faster whenever she was near? Why did the sound of her voice fill me with happiness? Why was I willing to sacrifice, to take this chance? How could I be willing to take the chance that she would hurt me ... maybe even hurt me more than Amber had?"I'm ... I'm ... so ... so ... so ... sorry," she sniffed, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Please ... please ... don't hate me. Please. Please don't." Hate you?" I asked, feigning incredulity. I was trying not to let the bile of my anger rush up and out of me. Sadly, though, I didn't hate her. I was ... discontent ... but there was neither hatred nor malice in my heart for this young woman. In fact, there was, oddly enough ... a different emotion stumbling somewhere below my notice. "Why would I hate you?" I can't understand what the hell is going on, so how could I. Even beware of fixing typos, for I occasionally use local slang and dialects that may be flagged by your spell checker. Thanks.We were only friends. That's what she said many years ago, "If you have any hope that we're ever going to be more than just friends, then we can't even be friends." We had been friends ever since.We had just returned to her apartment after spending a day together. We had gone to Ikea to buy some stuff for her home office, then we went to a steakhouse for dinner, then to a movie to see Eyes Wide Shut. We were walking up to her door when she said, "My arms are full, do you have your key?"I thought, Huh? I don't have a key to her place. What's she talking about?I answered, "I, uhm..." Oh, yeah," she replied, "Use my keys, they're in my front pants pocket."Oh? Now she wants me to put my hand in her front pants pocket? This is getting weird.I haltingly pushed my fingers into the front pocket of her tight-fitting jeans. I couldn't help feeling the warmth of her.
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