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One time I went to dinner at a Mexican place with Doug and Paula, just the three of us. Doug was enjoying this great sampler platter of fantastic, spicy rellenos, burritos, and enchiladas; really digging in with one elbow on the table, while I was trying to carry on a conversation with Paula without staring at her tits. She saw the waitress walking down the aisle toward our table and without missing a beat Paula reached over and picked up Doug's plate and handed it to her. Doug was so surprised his fork gouged the table. Paula gave him an icy stare and said something like 'You've had enough.' She wanted him to lose ten pounds.I've got a lot of 'Paula's a bitch' stories, but you get the general idea. Which takes me to a Saturday night in early May. It was close to midnight and I was trying to decide whether to turn on HBO and watch a movie with some skin in it; Marie was already asleep. I could see a light on by Doug's patio so I decided to check it out. I was pretty surprised to find. Fathers’ face went white and then puce with anger. ‘Sir! With due deference to your status, your intentions are less than honourable. You call upon us and calmly propose you prostitute my daughter. How dare you, Sir. When I was young I would have been in my rights to call you out whatever the circumstance of our class.’ ‘Mr. Smith, I do understand your anger. If I could marry Adelaide I would in an instant and damn the consequences. However that is impossible. My feelings for your daughter are intense, so much so that I find it impossible to put an end to our meetings.’ Rupert, being the gentleman that he was took all the blame on his shoulders. I could not let him face the ire alone. ‘Father. Ever since I was sixteen you have turned away all the young men who called. None was good enough. For quite a few months no one has called such were the high standards you imposed on any suitor. Rupert, who would meet and exceed any standards you set tried to end our friendship. It was I who.
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