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It was always that dream. Every morning – that dream…or was it just a memory? God I loved fucking Jolene in the morning. The sun streaming in would light her hair on fire –a golden glow surrounding auburn tresses. Her hair would be flat here, full there, a riot of individuality…you knew Jolene by her hair, wild, free, exciting – take your breath away sexy, beautiful or controlled, pulled back intense…prowling. (She pulled it back into a tight bun once…that memory alone makes me tremble.) The palest green eyes – scary with flames dancing through them when her blood was up or she was pissed. Intoxicatingly alluring when her lust was on – God she could get me to do any damn thing she wanted – anything…damn that woman. I liked her eyes best in the morning when they were heavy lidded and soft…when she was soft…and warm…and yielding. She was drier in the morning, hotter too – internally I mean. At night she’d get real wet and wild, fucking Jolene after the sun went down seemed to be as. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he knew and worked with, and the scurry of preparing his room and meeting his neighbors. The way it reads at the moment, he might be arriving on campus for his second year of college. Once you got past the slightly awkward opening, though, the story arc took shape in a well-defined progression of events that made life on the spaceship reasonable and believable if the reader is capable of believing science fiction at all. Some readers aren’t, you know.”“I’ve met a few,” I nodded.“Now the character arc is a bit uneven. First of all, while I have a pretty good idea of what is going on in Pilot’s head and what kind of person he is, I still have no idea what he looks like. That could be fine because the reader can put himself.
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