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But there were enough poor students on the football team for the stereotype to hold. Just as there are enough men who behave badly to make what Jocelyn says seem like it’s true. I do have to take exception with something you just said. I did, on occasion, treat you badly, even apart from not putting you first in my heart.”“You did, and I treated you just as badly at other times. But, and this is important, that wasn’t how we normally acted. We acted badly due to stress, both external and internal, to our relationship. This is something that Doctor Clauson is helping me understand. I guess it’s like what Melanie explained to us about her therapy after she tried to kill herself. We can’t control things that go on around us; we can only control our reactions to them.“I lied to you for a long time, and that was my bad reaction to the stress of my own feelings and of our relationship. Doctor Clauson helped me see that I wanted to appear perfect to you, and because of that, I hid. My best clubbing outfit was now ruined, butthat was the last thing I was worried about. Adam and Ihad to avoid any confrontation with these thugs. We hadto get through this ordeal without being beaten to apulp.The thought of being 'beaten bad' was swiftly replaced bya much more positive notion: Adam and I liked beingfucked, so why not let these Nigerians have their waywith us, again and again. If we kept sucking their cocksand bending over for them, why would they want to beat usup? Of course, if we did smile and spread our arse-cheeksfor these thugs, we could end up being their bum-boys fora very long time.'Now dance for us, white boys,' said Samson. 'And don'tyou forget to swing those cocks.'Without any music, Adam and I looked so silly dancingnaked in front of the four men. Nerves and embarrassmentkept us from getting into any kind of rhythm, so we justbopped up and down on the spot, doing the dozy-boy dance.'No, no, no,' Samson snapped. 'Dance together. Kiss andplay with each.
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