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"This," Carver explained, "Is being recorded for News at Seven — look straight ahead and you'll see what will appear on television."A screen came to life directly in line with my eyes. All I could see at that moment was the back of Josie's uniform. As she moved away I gasped — fully filling the screen was a picture of my pink floppy balls, held in place by a clip. The background (where I should have been) was a grid with the numbers 90, 120, 270 and 360 followed by the degree symbol — they were arranged with the 90 at 12 o'clock, the 120 at 3 and so on. The clip pointed to the 360 degree mark."Ladies and Gentlemen," it was the Sergeant's voice, "0258223 will now undergo the first punishment for masturbation. Police Officer Josie White will turn his testicles, in multiples of 90 degrees. Let the punishment commence."At that I saw Josie's hand appear on the screen. She took hold of the clip and slowly turned in to the 90 degree mark. I couldn't help but yelp."Ninety degrees," intoned. We’ll make sure you get the best possible start for your mission, even if you could have used a lot more training and ah ... a much bigger beard. And that’s all I’ll say about it.”“Good.”Ten seconds later:“Those glasses ... Are they real? I mean, prescription? Doesn’t your neck hurt?”A car was waiting for Miles when he and I arrived at the main entrance of the hotel. He went inside to hear my room number and said:“Okay, 1222. We’ll be in touch tomorrow. My ride is waiting, so...”“Hang on: ‘We will be in touch?’ Could you be a tad more specific?”“I expect you’ll get a note delivered to your room, or we’ll send a text message.”“And how will I know it’s from you?”“Why, do you think you’re compromised?”“No! But ... Shouldn’t there be a code word or something?”“Okay. If you like. I’ll tell them to add a code word.”“Which iiiiis?”“Oh, you’ll know it. Now, must dash! Oh, one more thing: it’s Ramadan. Nearly over, thank God, but restaurants are closed during the day. You might want to order.
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