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Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.16.. One day, Mr. Banks, my fifty something balding boss, called me into his office. Vic, you have been with us for a while now and you have been doing a fine job. Don Wilson is going to be retiring and we will be needing a new department manager. I am considering you for the position. Would you be interested? Yes Sir, was my prompt answer. Come with me to dinner at Ralphs this evening and we will talk about the job requirements. Meet me there at seven. Again my answer was, Yes Sir. Ralphs was one of the nicer steak houses in our part of the city. After work I went to my apartment and got cleaned up and put on some nicer clothes. I was at the restaurant promptly at seven. Mr. Banks had asked the host to watch for me and when I arrived, he showed me to the table in the bar where Mr. Banks already was. He was sitting there with a drink in front of him. He waived the bartender over and asked me what I liked to drink. I hesitate, not sure if I should drink in front of the boss when we were.
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