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Alexandra had been correct on both counts, left in the darkness for three hours till he awoke from his stupor and stumbled into the Rumpo Room to free her. She had kicked and punched him in a frenzy and dragged her long scarlet nails down his face. Alexandra drove them back to his flat in silence, pausing only to let him puke on the side on the road. During those lonely hours in the blackness bad memories crowded in on her and attendant neuroses multiplied like metastasizing tumour cells and she had a nightmare vision of being thrown bound and gagged into a deep grave and the rotting corpses of her parents piled on top of her. Then light invaded the room and in staggered Conan still clutching his mother’s ashes as he clumsily undid her bindings. If the mild pain she experienced during the light bondage sessions had a perverse cleansing affect her on, the fear had liberated her, she no longer saw him as handsome, cruel and aloof, a rich and cultivated man too good for her, but as a. I was tormented for years, until I met your dad and gave up all that same-sex bullshit." My jaw fell open."I'm...I'm not LIKE you, though," I told her, wiping my tears. "I don't care what people think of me. If they don't like me..." I got beside myself. "...then FUCK them." My mom raised her hand to punish me, but stopped."Look," she said, standing up. "I don't wanna see you get hurt...like I did. Okay?" I nodded, angry at her ignorance. "Okay. Bye." She walked to the door."Mom?" I said, forcing her to look at me. "Am I still grounded?" Uhhh..." she said, her hand on the doorknob. "...no. But...just remember what I said, alright?" Yess," I groaned, hiding my anger.So that night, I lay in bed thinking. I thought about Jordan. I thought about my mom, and even my dad.Everyone was telling me something different. My heart told me to be gay. My mom told me to be straight. Jordan just told me not to tell anyone about us or him. And my dad...he was telling me a bunch of things. He told me.
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