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I said okay and left it alone. Days past and no word about the reunion had even been mentioned. I didn't care to go so it wasn't even on my mind at the time. It wasn't until I happened to be thumbing around on her phone bored while she was in the shower that I saw a Facebook message from her ex-boyfriend Bryan. They were friends on there and I didn't really care because I never saw anything inappropriate between their exchanges. This message though seemed odd. He had sent her a link to a music video and said it reminded him of her. It was a slow ballad from a very popular group and when I looked it up I was actually kind of surprised. The words were strong and it carried a lot of meaning. I would have been fine if it was something about her body or even sex related, but this was an emotional statement that she seemed very pleased to receive. I monitored their message exchanges after that by logging in from my computer to read them without her knowing. I felt so jealous and kind of. Id let him finger me before, which I thought was good enough. I mean I was letting him do something that he wanted to do. Cause it wasnt like I wanted it, it was just really uncomfortable and it hurt. That and we would make out all the time. I even let touch my body any where and any way that he wanted to. But he wanted more. He kept dropping hints like saying: he had a boner, or saying if I loved him that I would have sex with him (I was such a virgin at the time that I didnt even know what a boner was. He explained a boner was when a guy was horny that his dick got big and hard). He was my first boyfriend and I was so in love with him. I knew if I didnt please him that he would eventually break up with me. I didnt want to lose him, so I decided I would have sex with him. We waited till my parents went out and then he came over. I told him that I would have sex with him, but that I wasnt ready to give him a blow job yet ( I was 12 and I still thought dicks were nasty, I didnt want.
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