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Definition of a wife: “An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.”How are an oven and a woman alike?You have to get them both hot before you can stick the meat in.Remember what’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?Getting fingered by Captain Hook.Well, you know what’s worse than that?Getting eaten out by Jaws.What’s the purpose of a bellybutton?To put your gum in on the way down.Why was the stamp commemorating prostitution so unpopular?You had to pay an extra ten cents to lick it.What’s the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?You can’t hear an enzyme.How do you make a hormone?Put sand in the Vaseline.What’s a cunt that talks back?An answering cervix.What do you give an eighty-year-old woman for her birthday?Mikey ... He’ll eat anything.What do you call a woman who uses too much contraceptive cream?A spermicidal maniac.Why do women have legs?So they don’t leave snail tracks on linoleum floors.What do you call a hooker with no legs?A nightcrawler.What. "Don't you want to meet Mom and Dad?"He sighed."I have to admit, I was never all that keen on my own family gatherings, so going to someone else's..." It'll just be us four. Please?"She pouted at him. Fred was always a sucker for a sexy pout. Plus, he knew he'd be going to this in the end anyway. No sense putting it off any more and risk pissing her off."OK, I'll do it." She leaned down and kissed him soundly, hand going down to fondle his still soft cock. "Hmm," Fred moaned into her mouth, "does your dad know what his little girl likes doing?"She pulled back and her eyes narrowed, hand taking a firm grip on his manhood."You get out of line, you die." But then you couldn't do it anymore! I think we have a stalemate!"Lisa's parents lived in an old, post-World War Two house in the first ring of Buffalo suburbs. It was narrow and tall, with back and front porches, and painted a yellow that had to have been kept only because that's what's always been on the house. Fred parked his Ford.
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