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On the way I played real good stuff of Music as was driving pretty nicely. Although I knew she was one hell of impressed by me as I was always known to people as good natured, well mannered, well to do guy. As it was just August on the calendar monsoon had not gone yet. So I always had that at the back of my mind that sooner or later it might create trouble. Just when I thought so, it did. It started pouring extremely heavily once we were out of the city limits. Some how I managed to get through by a mere 90kms. I think we might have been almost halfway when we got stuck up in a traffic jam. All we came to know from passers by was that a landslide had occurred on the Kasara Ghat. This made it impossible for the traffic to move for the next few hours. As I had not slept properly the night earlier & also woke up early in the morning for Mitali, I was feeling sleepy. So we decided to turn the car in the opposite direction and landed up in a resort. The room was an A/C Deluxe, well. I awake, he is gone. Was he here? I think so, I know so. Even if I am wrong, I feel it in my body and mind. Ted looks after me still. {I touch myself, still damp from him, then I cry. Is grief endless?} I am 50, I will be 51 soon. I am one of those who gets shortchanged every year, my birthday is December 27th. I got used to that, everyone I have ever known except for Ted just ‘combined’ Christmas and my birthday. Silly, yes. But it mattered to me, it is MY day, I wanted it! Ted always gave it to me, he went far above and beyond anything normal to make me the most important part of his life, just two days after Christmas! He knew the one part of life and one’s sex life so many miss, he took the time to feed my mind! But slowly, not suddenly, he was gone from me. Sudden is pain, sadness, it is over and done. The phone rings, a Police Officer at the door, shock then over, just grief and then the financial trappings of death to deal with. Slowly is day after day of worry and unending.
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