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I was scared that I’d want you so much that I would lose all control. And I was scared that maybe I’d read you wrong and all that I was just another bird you picked up on a plane then fucked and said goodbye to. I wasn’t a one-nightstand girl. But then I wasn’t a long-term relation one either. ‘I guess that’s my biggest problem,’ I smiled sitting up in bed, seeing in the mirror that my tits seemed to droop so much in that position that I straightened my back, ‘I’ve got no fucking idea what I do want.’ But then at least one thing became clear in my mind. I had to get away, break out of the spiral we were in. I needed space and time to think. I had to escape from New York. I had to run away, yes that I accepted that was what I was doing. Run away from New York to get free and escape from you, from her influence, her attraction and her appeal. I got up and dressed. I called Hertz. Yes they could deliver a car to the hotel and yes I could drop it off in Massachusetts but there would be a. For a few seconds she held her body tightly pressed against my palm, then released my hand which slid off her chest limply. She broke out into a peal of laughter, called me a fool, and breezed out of the room.As I grew older, my passion for female heartbeat also grew more and more intense. Once I bought a stethoscope with my pocket money, and I used to listen to my own heart sometimes with it. Of course, I also had a legitimate use for it– to measure the bp of my grandfather. I longed to use it on some girl, but had no such luck. It was a passion which I had to keep secret because it sounded weird even to myself. At one point in my career, I seriously considered becoming a doctor so that I could turn my dreams into reality. But then I thought the society could well do without a pervy doctor. Moreover, the medical profession meant much more than just using the stetho on young girls, and I didn’t like the idea of spending time with sick and dying people. So I moved on, and finally.
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