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” Edna bites her lip. “But you broke my heart when you choose to do business with scum.” Trixsis lets out a long sigh. “Edna… You and your moral compass. I did what I did because I had to. You know out here you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.”“No, I don’t know,” Edna says. “Trixsis, you’ll always have a special place in my heart, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever approve of your actions.” “And that’s why I love you,” she says. “When you decide to finally join the fight, you know how to get ahold of me. There’s always a place for you by my side. You can even bring your new boy toy. I would love to get a taste of him.” Heat flushes through my body as the woman looks me over. “He sure is adorable.’ She squeezes Edna’s shoulder before walking off and joining her crew. “You loved her?” I ask before I can think. “Still do,” she says. “But she and I are on separate paths.” For a second it looks like Edna was about to shed a tear before she pulls herself together and puts a hand on my. As I lay in bed that morning, I thought about what I must do. I must convince Howard that I have given up any idea of an affair. I must make him believe that I am his exclusively and that my request the other night was nothing more than the ravings of a menopausal woman. Surely he could believe that was possible. I had stopped taking hormone replacement therapy after the health scares. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I haven't had the experience of other men before Howard and I met. I know the.
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