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Of course now that I’m older, I know I had power over men long before this happened. I had power over men before I ever went to the ranch. But that didn’t mean I was a woman. I think the thing that changed for me that summer was that I began to be in control of my own destiny. I was able to make some choices, and they accelerated the maturation process. Someone once told me the first time your heart is broken is when you grow up and see the world as the hostile place it is. I think that’s a little harsh, because it presumes the world is, and always will be, hostile. It also presumes your heart will be broken and I think that’s a sad way to plan for your life.I’d rather think of it as there being chances for wonderful things to happen, and then enjoying those things to the maximum as long as they last. Of course life won’t be like that all the time, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear armor and be on guard constantly. What I learned that day is that there would probably be times. When the cab arrived Aunt Mary and I managed to get Wendy into it with a minimum of fuss and I went back to the party.About half an hour later Aunt Mary called and told me that she had walked off and left her purse and would I be a good boy and get it and hang on to it for her. I told her that I would and then I asked her if she'd had any trouble getting Wendy into the house."Well, Herb hasn't called me and said there was a problem so I'm sure everything is all right."Alarm bells started to go off in my head and I asked her what she meant."Well, your place is between my place and Herb's apartment so he dropped me off and he's dropping Wendy off next on his way home. You want his number so you can call him?"I tried calling Herb half a dozen times but got no answer. If I hadn't had such a dislike of Herb I probably would have just gone back to the party, but the fact was that I did dislike him - a lot! For the next ten minutes I let my imagination run away with me and I finally decided.
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