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It was just I acting like a girl. Ithought it was a sin because I was trying to be something that God didn'twant me to be. On top of that, I was not your son that you wanted to be.I was so ashamed. Life was horrible. It still is. I told you they call mesissy and gay. They think I am too girly. The truth is they are right.Mom and Dad, you think it's just a phase. Well, It's a hell of a longphase to go through. I think all parents turn a blind eye to theirchildren's fault. And my fear was that you would soon found out who Ireally was/am, and hate me for it. The one time I was happy and am happy was at Louisa's. She reallyconsidered me as her sister. Once I told her that sometimes I pee in mytrousers and I like it. She then came up with an idea to put a diaper onme. I wasn't at all embarrassed that she seen my private parts. We weresisters. When she put the diaper on me and a baby dress, I looked in themirror. I felt so happy. I looked like her baby sister. This happenedwhen I was 10.. I’m not seeing either Doctor Mercer or Doctor Alborg any longer, but I still have demons to deal with, just as Steve does, and just as you do.”“I can vouch for that!” I said playfully. “You should have met Kara just after Christmas of 1982. You’ve got nothing on her!”“And Steve saw past all that, and look where we are now,” Kara said. “You aren’t a bitch, Jessica. You might act like one from time to time, just as Steve acts like an idiot from time to time. You two don’t really see my issues because they’re mostly in my head and I keep them there. But, the one thing I know for sure is that Steve loves me and will never leave me. And you should know the same thing.”“But how do you know that?” Jessica asked. “He broke his word to you in High School. And in a far more serious way than he did with me!”“Because he came to me and confessed. He could have simply hidden it from me, which is what Becky wanted him to do. Or he could have simply dumped me after getting what he originally set out.
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