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For years I was lonely, depressed, angry at myself, the world, and the gods that made me this way. I knew I was smart and had a good job, but at age 20, I was still driven by urges I never had any control over, no matter how hard I tried. I often felt the urge to dress as a girl, but each time I did, and then looked in the mirror, I saw a clown instead of the woman I wanted to be. Including my makeup, I was merely a parody of the woman in my dreams. My frustration at my inability to achieve any semblance of the woman I felt I wanted to become had driven me into silent secrecy when I did try to dress up. That night, in my robe, I munched snacks as the television played in a muted tone. The young women on the screen were a constant reminder of what I wanted to be able to look like, and equally, my inability to either conquer my desires, or forget it, or become the woman I had so many dreams about. In my heart I knew I was going to do it, because even though I had secretly tried on my. . more than once?" Cindy looked eager."I think it was four times, but don't quote me on that. It might have been five." Be still my beating heart," gasped Cindy, putting her hand on her chest and pretending to swoon. "I am so jealous!" No you're not. Danny treats you fabulously." Yes! He does, doesn't he," said Cindy, grinning."I have to go, but later I want to hear about it." He's coming over to my house tonight," said Claire. "I doubt I'll have time to spend socializing with you." Well then we have to eat lunch together today, don't we?" Lunch, I can do," said Claire.He did come to her house after work and, to her surprise, he was dressed to run."We can't get out of shape," he admonished her."If we're actually going to run in that marathon, we need to start the final workup." I think what we did last night got me up to my training heart rate and kept it there for hours," she laughed."There will always be time to make love," he said."But I'm horny," she moaned."You'll still be horny.
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