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The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive role model for millions.Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by. What if someone walked in while I was sliding it out of my ass? "You're bad," I whispered, blushing scarlet. "I'm just having fun. Aren't you? No? Lucky that doesn't actually matter, isn't it!" I rolled my eyes at him. "Meanie." "Go on, I'll fill up." "A... All right." I grabbed the beach bag and headed for the Ladies, taking deep breaths as I walked around the side of the building. I dreaded sliding out the plug. Especially since it had been in so long. It always made me feel weird when I removed it. Like, 'shuddery', as my asshole stretched open and the plug popped free. I'd have to support myself on the basin in case my knees buckled. It's so intense I often lie down afterwards. Pushing open the heavy, hydraulic door, I entered the bathroom and put down the beach bag. I looked at myself in the mirror, then down at the basin in front of me. The door creaked as it slowly closed. In the mirror I noticed there were two cubicles behind me. "Hellooo?" I inquired, making sure I.
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