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The rest of me was busy trying to find a balance between a possible escape from loneliness and a bad case of raging hormones. The latter was winning by a large margin.“Can I offer you a beer?” I asked her. I felt like adding something about a good roll in the seaweed too. Discretion, being the better part of valour, won out. Sometimes I hate discretion. This was one of those times.“Yeah, I’d like that.” she confessed as she found one of the only two comfortable spots on the whole deck to sit. I made a mental note that the other spot was right beside her. Hmm. That was the usual pattern that played out whenever I let my poor heart become some woman’s playground. Or so that little voice in my head reminded me. I was getting good at ignoring that voice.“How about something to eat?” I offered. She gazed into my eyes as she contemplated whether or not she wanted to be poisoned by a lonely bachelor.“Chef Boy-Ar-Dee?”“ she inquired.“Sorry, all out of that pre-digested shit. Beer-battered. The hotel in which I'm staying (my home away from home) often receives tour busses. Typically, it's older (65+ y/o) couples, with a few stray women in the group.I didn't pay much attention to my walk to get a soda, and had rather automatically hung out my junk through the opening in my loungers. Walking back with my booty, I was nearly to my room when a door opened. Here were two VERY mature ladies, dressed in their polyester "finery," exiting their shared room. Since I had 2 cans of soda in my hands, there was no way to comfortably cover up. I had no choice but to continue to my room. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the two old ladies were blocking the hallway as they walked arm in arm.Since the best defense is a good offense, I decided to greet the old women: "Good Evening, Ladies - having a nice day?" Since it's likely neither had seen cocks & balls for a long time, I figured they wouldn't notice. WRONG! They first made eye contact, smiled, and returned the greeting. Within a.
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