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“We thought so. You must understand this is a family community. We are all happily married women and wish to avoid any unnecessary…tension in the neighborhood that could come from a single woman parading through the streets. So we will require you to dress appropriately from now on to avoid putting yourself on display within view of our husbands. For example, gardening in a tank top with no bra could hardly be considered modest. You will refrain from such vulgar dress in the future.” I just stare at her for a second, then I bust out laughing, a good, long, hearty laugh. No one joins in. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask. A petite blonde speaks up from the middle of the pack. “We don’t condone that type of language in this neighborhood. We pride ourselves on our upstanding moral character and hope that you will adapt to our values, find yourself a good husband, and become a respectable member of our little society.” Wow. Just wow. Never…ever…in my life… Have I died and entered some. She had heard every word from the bedroom.She started to read out loud, "Our Home Grown Hercules." Under the headline was a picture of Jimmy's back and the ripped shirt as he lifted the car. Then came Wally's byline and the story of the terror and desperation of the man pinned beneath the car. There were more pictures of the terrified children inside the car and of the people who stood around and did nothing to help the pinned man. Ruby was amazed. How did he manage to write all this stuff? Using every flowery phrase at his command, Wally's pictures, turgid prose and full page ads filled ten pages. The ten pages were stretched to fifteen after all the new advertising was added in to make the story an insert of its own."This is pure dee bullshit," Jimmy exclaimed. Then he apologized for swearing in her presence. "I'm no hero," Jimmy told her. "This is not what happened at all. I never said all those things he has me saying." You must have said them, sweetie, it says right here in the.
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