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And it was too much for my mortal emotions to stand. First there was love, then loss, then betrayal and finally, to top the mountain of abominable acts, I betrayed. Perhaps I should focus on the present. On the answer. On waking up. On moving. Looking down, I see the muscle that has atrophied into nonexistence, I see the bone that withered flesh covers, calcium deposits long since depleted. A shattered remnant of a body. I know that if I could see my face I would be horrified at the sunken depth of my eye sockets, at the thinness of my hair and the skeleton-like qualities I have taken on so greedily to end the pain within my soul. I know I must choose. Power or continued pain. The feeling of the universal creation flowing through my body would be as sweet as any kiss, as intoxicating as any liquor, yet I fear it. I fear what temptations I would have, I could undo the separation. I could heal myself. Become whole. Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is not. The flow of. I would never let on that I even considered being with another girl. I guess I was more afraid that word would get out that Rose was a lezzy.Sometimes during those sleepovers I would pretend to be asleep and position myself so that my night gown or oversized T-shirt that I often wore for bed rode up my waist enough so that my bare pussy or ass was exposed. Or I'd find ways that I could expose my bare breasts in such a way that it didn't look like I was doing it on purpose. I got off on teasing my sleep over friends and no one ever knew the better. Those high school days far gone now and all through college I pretty much worked my little part time job and dated only seldom.After high school, I attend Columbia and got an undergraduate in business.I had finally found a job and was able to move out my parents place. Not that they were all bad or anything, just that I'm 22 and it was time to be on my own. I landed a job with an advertising firm and that would mean I had to move to Detroit.
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