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“If you work out where we meet him with enough warning, I can get everything set up so you won’t have to wear one. It might be a good idea for tomorrow night,” Fritz suggested.“Bond, Ian Bond,” I said, and made a gun out of my hand.When did my life get so crazy that we had to do these kinds of things?When I got home, I sent a text to Brook, and she jumped onto video chat.“Watermelon,” she said, and Mr. Happy was sure she’d said ‘pineapple,’ the signal for sexy fun.There was a soft knock on my door, and Lexi was there waiting with two plates of watermelon. I looked over at my tablet, and Brook had a wedge in front of her.Both girls thought it was funny when they saw I was aroused.“Funny,” I said as I took my plate and then gave Lexi a look. “What, no salt?”“Gross. You put salt on watermelon?” Brook complained.Lexi looked confused.“You poor thing. Brook, go get some salt, and I’ll be right back,” I said and ran to the kitchen.Dad told me to slow down. I showed him there was watermelon,. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, “Are you a real pilot?”He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans ... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I’ve taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?”She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.”The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: “Are you a real pilot?”He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”Forwarded compliments of John A. By Jeff Foxworthy:If plastic water.
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