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"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" I couldn't hear her voice as clearly as before, probably because she was holding it out so everyone could listen to the conversation."I said... I would like t-to order... s-s-something else." Gasps all around. I think I heard someone faint. Murmurs ensued, followed by hushing so that they could hear me once more."And, uh, what would you like to order?" the clerk asked."A large... ("Gasp!") deep dish... (more gasps from the clerks) ANCHOVY PIZZA!" I burst out. Half the personnel went into cardiac arrest right then, and needed to be hospitalized immediately. The others frantically began to go to work on my order. "That... will... be... *Pant* twelve... dollars... ninety... eight...*Ungh* be ready... in about... f... f... forty... *Wheeze* forty-five... *pant* mih... mih... *Gasp* minutessss... uuuuuuuoooooooohh..." She breathed her last breath. Another casualty at Domino's Pizza.I slammed down the phone, resigned to my fate. I checked my watch. It had. This would likely result in her deciding to leave me, maybe for someone else, or just to experience life. It happens. I know a few guys whose wives pulled the plug after twenty-plus years and I witnessed the brutal results.Have an affair. I knew I could hook up with at least a few of the women I knew from work if I made an attempt. I would get laid but would have to deal with the guilt of cheating and likelihood of getting caught. This would result in divorce and probably financial ruin, for me anyway. Risky stuff.Seduce her. Get her sex drive ignited, relit, fired back up. I would need to work hard and think differently to do this, but it was the best, and cheapest, option. If it failed, well, hello door number two. *I started by being a better listener.I am not a morning person. It takes me thirty minutes or more to shake the cobwebs from my brain after waking up. I need my morning coffee and some time to process before I am ready to get going for the day. In the morning I don't.
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